Two Weeks to Go: Thoughts and Fears

Two weeks to go!

Now, despite spending the past two months wishing my life away, I actually cannot believe how quickly our trip has come around! Ive been away before, but only for a month, so the reality of being away for a long period of time is really starting to set in. Of course I’m excited and I can honestly say that excitement is at the top of the emotional food chain but here are a few aspects of my personality and life that are prompting thoughts to whizz around my head as the countdown continues.

Confidence

First of all, I’m not the most outgoing person and despite the fact my social calendar is normally jam packed, it’s jam packed of seeing the same people. One of my biggest fears that keeps replaying in my mind is how I’m going to react to constantly meeting new people. Something the majority of travelers find the most exciting, it’s the part I’m most worried about. I don’t see myself as particularly interesting and my awkward tendencies have been noted in the past – most famously in Krakow when a 3 minute stand-off ensued between myself, a Polish waiter and a quesadilla. Although I do blame that on the fact I’d been drinking beer for a good 6 hours…

Anyway, I’m lucky, George is extremely outgoing and very good at connecting with people straight from the get go so I’m sure he’ll lead the majority of conversations with me contributing as my confidence increases. Saying that, once I’ve had a few drinks you actually can’t shut me up!

Family

Another thing I’ve been thinking of a lot is my Mum. Although we lived nearly 10,000 miles apart during a short period in 2012 and I’ve lived on my own intermittently, I’ve pretty much lived with her my entire life. I consider myself to be quite independent but the reality is that actually, I’ve always had her around. Be that when I’ve been ill or when I’ve needed to ask a stupid question about the washing machine she’s always been a quick phone call away (well apart from when she lived in Australia..) but we’re about to be in different time zones for the foreseeable future and I’m really going to have to toughen up to make sure I get through the difficult times that come along with being a nomad… I mean who’s going to make me feel better and give me the sympathy I need when I’m sunburnt and have eaten something dodgy if my Mum isn’t around?!

Change

Finally, I’m quitting my job. How bloody terrifying! I’ve been employed since I was 16 and have spent the last, nearly four years developing a career related to my degree and here I am about to leave the safety of routine and a monthly pay check to jump into the unknown. Terrifying but oh so liberating I can tell you that! I’m 25 and it may seem mad to just drop a career I’ve spent so long building but I’m so excited to explore and pursue other options that I may not even be aware I want at this moment in time.

Basically, I need a break. A break from normality and the life pressures of being 25. It’s essentially both mine and George’s reasons for travelling – to explore other options in life and despite the worries and anxieties that come with flipping your life upside down, I have never been more sure that this is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing at this moment in my life.

2 Replies to “Two Weeks to Go: Thoughts and Fears”

  1. Super post, which has really triggered some memories!
    I remember when we took off for our first long jaunt, I had similar thoughts and fears. I held it all together even the part were I said goodbye to my mum (she was in bits and I was excited). All went until we arrived in New Delhi airport. Craig went off to change some money and left me with the rucksacks. I looked around and it suddenly hit me – no job, no security, no confidence, no mum…I sat on the floor and broke down in tears.
    Craig returned and wondered what the hell happened. He knew there was only one thing to do. He walked across to the phonebox and called my mum. How the role reversed! Now who was in bits and who was strong?
    Mum’s are like little rocks…she will always be there for you.

    1. Thank you for sharing your story! It definitely makes me feel better knowing that other people have had the same thoughts as me before going travelling 🙂 We’re lucky that we have so much accessible communication like WhatsApp so the distance will definitely feel shorter I think!

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